Tuesday, March 06, 2007

e-tivity 1: feedback

I very much enjoyed seeing the photos you chose, reading why you chose them, and reading your comments. I found this to be much more interesting than reading the usual introduction. Some of you were rather poetic, others more practical, but in all cases ‘who you are’ came through clearly.

You’ve done an excellent job with your first e-tivity. I’d just like to point out a few things.

- As you all indicated in your ‘rules’ – always sign your name.

- A photo is a resource and should be attributed to the author just like text so cite your pictures too.

- Some of you, Ilaria, Martina, Alessandra and Tania responded to your peers’ comments. I would like to encourage this: if someone sends you a comment, why not respond to the comment?

- Finally, I see some of you have shared resources, i.e. links. That’s what blogging is all about so job well done.

Although the focus in our blogs is not on accuracy, I take the opportunity of your having produced written work to provide you with some feedback. I would like to have you do peer feedback, but it’s something I had planned to do in class so since we couldn’t meet today, I’ve corrected your posts. I would like you to take a look not only at the corrections I made to your posts but those to your peers’ posts as well – I believe we all have a lot to learn from each other. Then try and identify one aspect (e.g. verbs, prepositions, punctuation, etc.) max. two aspects that you think you need to keep in mind next time you write. Send a comment to this post letting us know what you think that is and we’ll see if it corresponds to what I think it is! Finally, if there’s something you don’t understand in my corrections, please send a comment to this post.

Click here to download the file with all of the corrections.

Sarah

N.B. The final part of an e-tivity is feedback. My feedback may be on contents, language or both, but you’ll receive it each week on Tuesday, before you receive the coming week’s e-tivity. Feel free to comment on feedback.


10 comments:

Alessandra Peron said...

Thanks for the feedback, Sarah. In general, I think I need to check verbs and prepositions when I write. My last post was shorter than most others, so that's probably why there was only one mistake.

One question for Sarah: can we (or should we) edit our old posts according to your corrections?

Elena said...

Hello Sarah!
I knew that in my presentation "elegant attitude" was a bit ambiguous! I meant polite, well-behaved. What I wanted to say is that I don't like intrusive and noisy people but I prefer who is polite, who respects the other and knows how to behave in different situations. It is hard to express this idea and I hope it is clearer now.

Next time I'll pay attention to punctuation and I'll write slowlier to avoid silly spelling mistakes!!! Am I right?!

Alida said...

Dear sarah,
I must thank you for your feddback! I think one can learn a lot from his/her own mistakes. I know that I must pay more attention while writng in English. There are no big mistakes on a specific subject but there is a variety of small ones (including spelling mistakes)! I promise I'll be better next time!
Alida!

shoun said...

Dear Sarah,
Thank you for your feedback! I know I've to give more attention to punctuation and past tense verbs. As far as past tense is concerned I cannot understand why in this sentence: "I lived in this beautiful country for one year during my Erasmus...", I have to use "I lived" instead of "I have been living"? Is it not a question of duration?? I'm sorry but I got so confused about it!
Then talking about my corrections: 1. Why did you eliminate "Gaelic football"? This is what I meant, I wasn't talking either about soccer or American football because gaelic football is a form of football played mainly in Ireland. It, along with Hurling, is the most popular sport in Ireland.
2. About "commento SG10: "wired" is wrong!! Here I wanted to write weird but as I did with "palyed instead of played" I typed wrong!!!
3. About Line 14: "This is the reason why the match between Ireland and England...", I was referring to the match on the 24th February 2007.
4. I agree with you that "fair" is not adequate as synonym of "violent".

Shoun (Tania)

Lamericaana said...

Alessandra - about editing your old posts...it's up to you. Last semester some did, some didn't. I think mistakes are fine - you learn from them. If you leave them, then you can go back over your posts at a later date and see your improvements!

Elena - polite and well-behaved are much clearer! Silly spelling msitakes are common on blogs but should be avoided as much as possible.

Alida - no need to 'promise' you'll be better because I'm sure you will ;-)

Shoun (or Tania) - Sorry, I'd never heard of Gaelic football! The difference between "lived" and "have been living" is not duration but WHEN. In your text you indicate the time (when you were on Erasmus) and the minute you define the time period in English you HAVE TO use the simple past and CANNOT use the present perfect. The simple past indiates both duration (come l'imperfetto) and one specific moment or permanent situation (come il passato prossimo o remoto). Hope that clears it up. If not, remind me to explain better in class next Tuesday.

Sarah

erica bergamin said...

Hello Sarah,
I've already seen your corrections and I thank you very much for your work!! I think we can learn a lot from our mistakes! =)
As regards my mistakes, there's something I would like to ask you, that is: in the end, you have changed "that" with "which", but was "that" completely wrong there?
Then, according to the most important aspects we keep in mind when we write, I think they are:
1.choosing the right tense; 2.prepositions;
3. if the verb has to be followed by -ing form or infinitive.
See you soon!
Erica

Erica Buzz said...

Dear Sarah,
thanks for the feedback. When I write in English I think I should focus on verbs and prepositions. I usually do it, but (as I made a few mistakes)this is not enough. I will try and learn from your corrections and suggestions.
Cheers,
Erica Buzzacarin

martina said...

Dear Sarah,
thank you for your feedback. Well, next time I'll check more often and more carefully verbs and prepositions...

Alessandra Teso said...

Dear Sarah,
I read your corrections and I saw that I didn’t make big mistakes on one particular subject...I think there are some silly mistakes that I can surely avoid simply paying more attention in writing my posts and comments!

Viola said...

Dear Sarah,
I'm sorry to be so late in making this comment!Thank you for the feedback anyway, I've realized that prepositions are my biggest problem! I hope I'll improve!Love,
Viola