Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Feedback: Collective writing

Viola has edited the collective writing page.

12 comments:

Ale T. said...

Dear Viola,
A short but very clear page!

I like the organization of your contribution and I think that surely you wrote the most important things about collective writing.

I think that the list of tools and softwares with the short description of each of them could be very useful!

Perhaps there are not so many sources about this topic, therefore I would concentrate on the advantages and disadvantages developping the sections that already exist, if you want to improve “your” page.

Bye!
Alessandra

Shoun (aka Tania) said...

Hi Viola! You really did a good job also because the page you edited was almost empty. I apprecieted the fact that you add a definition of collective writing even if I think it shoul be more accurate and precise in order to give to people the possibility of understanding immediately what collective writing is. I liked the paragraph about "tools and softwares" also because you added a link to each of them. Good job, Viola! I really liked it!

Tania

Elena said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Elena said...

I agree with the comments above, you improved "your" page and I really liked the advantages and disadvantages section.
However, I can't understand woh's Sharon Simpson and why you've decided to write it?

Another little adevice: I would repeat in the definition "Collective writing is...".
see you, Elena

Alida said...

Dear Viola,
Before starting to read your page I had a look at its history and found that it was almost completely empty before your intervention. Therefore congratulations.
As it is a bit short you should probably add some personal thoughts (e.g. our experiences with wikis and blogs). Obviously your register should keep on being formal in these comments as well.
There is nothing else I'd change because I found the page extremely clear and the language too.
hugs
ali

Her Royal Highness Susanne said...

Hi Viola!
As our classmates already pointed out, the page was nearly empty when you started writing. You did a very good job!! You could maybe add something about your personal experience or specify that you think that the advantages or disadvantages are... Moreover, I would put the name Sharon Simpson at the beginning of the quotation.
Good job:-)
See you soon,
Susanne

Alessandra P said...

Dear Viola,
I enjoyed reading your page, which is clear and concise. I particlaurly appreciated the advantages/disadvantages sections.

Some suggestions:
--in the definition I would state "Collective writing is...".
--maybe you could highlight some words in bold
--I would put "Tools and Software" after advantages and disadvantages, not before.
--Maybe you could explain what the second link on the Links section is (i.e. title of the page...)

See you in class,
Alessandra

alex said...

Dear Viola,

your page is short but concise and it fulfills the aim of explaining the topic. Our classmates pointed out all the things you could do to improve the page and I do agree with them. You should also check the spelling of some words (developped, developping).

Cheers,
alexandra

ilaria said...

Dear Viola,
I really like your page because it explains what collective writing is in a complete but concise way.
I like the section you have created (definition, advantages, disadvantages) and I think you edited the the section that already existed (tools and Software) with useful information.
The only things you should do is correcting the spelling of 'developped' and , in my opinion, linking 'contributors are stimulated to use languege' with 'express their ideas concisely but clearly' by the means of the linking adverb 'and' instead of doing it with a comma. (I'm refering to the 'advantages' section).

Erica Buzz said...

Dear Viola,
I like the page, how you organized it and what you wrote about the topic. The page was almost empty so I think you've done a good work. Anyway here are some suggestions which I think shoul improve the page:
-in the Definition paragraph you should start with "Collective writing is..." instead with "It is...";
-you should highlight some keywords or relevant concepts within the article;
-given that the paragraph on Disadvantages is very little I would insert it within the previous one and change the title into "Advantages and Disadvantages".

Cheers,
Erica

martina said...

Dear Viola,

you did a really good job! The page was almost empty and now it is clear and well-structured. Ok, it is quite short, but it's not a problem.

As Erica Buzz pointed out, you could write just one paragraph about "advantages and disadvantages". Moreover, you could add something from your personal experience with collective writing.

Cheers,
tina

Lamericaana said...

Job well done. I agree with your peers' comments and think you've done a good job developing the page alone. I do agree with your peers, though, that it might be interesting to put a line or two on your personal experience. What do you think?

Sarah