Dear Tania, dear Elena You contributed to a very interesting page!
Perhaps I would change the title of the third section, beacuse “What is informal learning?” seems to be the same of “Definition” , whereas the information given are quite different.
I think the content of your contribution is very good, however maybe there are too many quotations and your opinion does not emerge. I like the last section about researches...very useful!
I hope my suggestions would help you in improving this page! Alessandra
Dear Tania and Elena, I also think your page is really interesting, clear and precise. In particular I like the scheme you've found. Really nice! However,at the end of the page there is "Elena Birolo thinks...". I didn't like it very much I have to say, because you have been impersonal and somehow "technical" throughout the whole text, and it is because of this that in my opinion you'd better maintain this impersonality. Hope my suggestion will help you improve your work, Erica
Dear Tania and Elena, you did a very nice job!I liked the contributions and the style. The only thing I can say is to check some little mistakes (e.g."more quickly" not "quicker"; "...and)". Love, Viola
My dear friends, I found your page very interesting and well structured. I just found some small mistakes such as: -INDIVIDIALS instead of individuals. (yuo can find it in the last lines of the Formal VS Informal parargraph). - You forgot to add a space after a bracket. (third line of the Definition paragraph). I did not find anything else that should be corrected. I must say that I appreciated the blog section. Best greetings Ali
Hi girls! I think you did a good job: you collected a lot of information and you wrote interesting things. Some suggestions: you could highlight the keywords in dark bold (in the introduction for example: immediacy and relevancy, informal learning etc.). Moreover, there are a few typing mistakes (e.g. definition:advice and guidance are )are, definition2°paragraph: such as those made at work, at play, while talikng; Formal vs informal: It is worth pointing out that learning informally can be very useful for some kind of individials.;) Last suggestion: In the first sentence of the paragraph Literature on Informal Reading you wrote: "there are many forms discussed...". I would repeat many forms of INFORMAL LEARNING. Good job! See you, Susanne
I see you've improved this page a lot! I particularly like the scheme you found, which I think helps to make things clearer.
Suggestions: --I can't understand if the whole introduction is a quotation from Bob Mosher (and in this case there should be inverted commas), or if you're summarizing what he says with your own words (in this case you could correct "quicker" as Viola said).
--In the Links section, maybe you could explain what these pages are about. I would put in this section the link to the blog on informal learning as well.
I think you did a great job! As Alessandra just pointed out the quotation at the beginning is not very clear. I think you summarized Bob Mosher's quotation so feel free to correct what Viola suggested! There are some more spelling mistakes (e.g. confortable) that you can improve by reading carefully the page.
Dear Tania and Elena, first of all I have to say that the topic you chose is really interesting and it is worth reading your page! You did a great job, especially with the introduction which is clear and summarizez the topic in an effective way. Anyway, like Ale p I don't understand if the whole introduction is a quotation from Bob Mosher or if you're summarizing what he says with your own words. In the second case, if the whole introduction is a summary of his own words, I think you should say that at the beginning, starting, for example, with 'as B.Mosher wrote...'.
you did a really good job! Your page is well-structured and quite easy to read.
Anyaway, there are some spelling mistakes here and there (don't panic!). Moreover, as Ale_p, Alex and Ilaria pointed out, it is not very clear if the introduction is a quotation from Bob Mosher or if this is your paraphrase.
you made a lot of improvements on this page! I see also that you followed the suggestion Ale Peron and I gave you during the lesson on changing the title of the third paragraph. As our colleagues wrote I would suggest you to clarify Bob Mosher's quotation. Then I think you should add some explanations to the 6th paragraph rather than making a list of the links.Finally I don't understand why there is a so little paragraph (n° 8)at the end of the article containing no explanations but only a link.
14 comments:
Dear Tania, dear Elena
You contributed to a very interesting page!
Perhaps I would change the title of the third section, beacuse “What is informal learning?” seems to be the same of “Definition” , whereas the information given are quite different.
I think the content of your contribution is very good, however maybe there are too many quotations and your opinion does not emerge. I like the last section about researches...very useful!
I hope my suggestions would help you in improving this page!
Alessandra
Dear Alessandra,
thanks for your suggestion!
we'll surely take them into account!
Elena
Dear Tania and Elena,
I also think your page is really interesting, clear and precise. In particular I like the scheme you've found. Really nice! However,at the end of the page there is "Elena Birolo thinks...". I didn't like it very much I have to say, because you have been impersonal and somehow "technical" throughout the whole text, and it is because of this that in my opinion you'd better maintain this impersonality.
Hope my suggestion will help you improve your work,
Erica
Dear Tania and Elena,
you did a very nice job!I liked the contributions and the style.
The only thing I can say is to check some little mistakes (e.g."more quickly" not "quicker"; "...and)".
Love,
Viola
Thank you Viola but "quicker" is in a quotation so we let it there!
Tania
My dear friends,
I found your page very interesting and well structured. I just found some small mistakes such as:
-INDIVIDIALS instead of individuals. (yuo can find it in the last lines of the Formal VS Informal parargraph).
- You forgot to add a space after a bracket. (third line of the Definition paragraph).
I did not find anything else that should be corrected. I must say that I appreciated the blog section.
Best greetings
Ali
Hi girls!
I think you did a good job: you collected a lot of information and you wrote interesting things. Some suggestions: you could highlight the keywords in dark bold (in the introduction for example: immediacy and relevancy, informal learning etc.). Moreover, there are a few typing mistakes (e.g. definition:advice and guidance are )are, definition2°paragraph: such as those made at work, at play, while talikng; Formal vs informal: It is worth pointing out that learning informally can be very useful for some kind of individials.;) Last suggestion: In the first sentence of the paragraph Literature on Informal
Reading you wrote: "there are many forms discussed...". I would repeat many forms of INFORMAL LEARNING.
Good job!
See you,
Susanne
Hi Tania and Elena,
I see you've improved this page a lot! I particularly like the scheme you found, which I think helps to make things clearer.
Suggestions:
--I can't understand if the whole introduction is a quotation from Bob Mosher (and in this case there should be inverted commas), or if you're summarizing what he says with your own words (in this case you could correct "quicker" as Viola said).
--In the Links section, maybe you could explain what these pages are about. I would put in this section the link to the blog on informal learning as well.
See you in class,
Alessandra
Dear Tania and Elena,
I think you did a great job!
As Alessandra just pointed out the quotation at the beginning is not very clear. I think you summarized Bob Mosher's quotation so feel free to correct what Viola suggested! There are some more spelling mistakes (e.g. confortable) that you can improve by reading carefully the page.
see u soon
alexandra
Dear Tania and Elena,
first of all I have to say that the topic you chose is really interesting and it is worth reading your page!
You did a great job, especially with the introduction which is clear and summarizez the topic in an effective way. Anyway, like Ale p I don't understand if the whole introduction is a quotation from Bob Mosher or if you're summarizing what he says with your own words. In the second case, if the whole introduction is a summary of his own words, I think you should say that at the beginning, starting, for example, with 'as B.Mosher wrote...'.
Dear Tania and Elena,
you did a really good job! Your page is well-structured and quite easy to read.
Anyaway, there are some spelling mistakes here and there (don't panic!). Moreover, as Ale_p, Alex and Ilaria pointed out, it is not very clear if the introduction is a quotation from Bob Mosher or if this is your paraphrase.
Cheers,
tina
Dear Tania and Elena,
you made a lot of improvements on this page! I see also that you followed the suggestion Ale Peron and I gave you during the lesson on changing the title of the third paragraph.
As our colleagues wrote I would suggest you to clarify Bob Mosher's quotation. Then I think you should add some explanations to the 6th paragraph rather than making a list of the links.Finally I don't understand why there is a so little paragraph (n° 8)at the end of the article containing no explanations but only a link.
Love,
Erica
Thanks to all of you!
I tried to fix the page and spelling mistakes following your suggestions.
The Introduction is not a quotation, so I corrected "quickly" as you all suggested.
Elena
Very interesting and useful. After all, after you graduate you will be responsible for your own personal informal learning ;-)
Sarah
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