Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Gruppo F: Elena

Hallo everyone!!I'm Elena and I chose this photo which represents capoeira. Capoeira is a sport which was invented ages ago by slaves in Africa and I practiced it in Spain when I was doing Erasmus. I liked this sport very much because it was funny and we did it listening to a very particular kind of music which was produced by a particular instrument called "birimbao".

The two websites that I visit most are:

www.libero.it

when I have to check my e-mail

and www.trenitalia.it
when I want to check the train timetable.

Bye!!

4 comments:

Valeria said...

Hi Elena!
I think that the photo you chose explains well how capoeira is practiced. I have never practiced it but once I assisted to a performance of this kind of dance and I find it really beautiful and choreographic, even if, as you said, its origins are linked to the conditions of slaves.
Bye,
Valeria

monica said...

Hi Elena, I enjoyed the photo you posted and I think that "Capoeira" is really an interesting sport. A friend of mine practiced it and two years ago she made a performance in Padua together with her working group. I found it really exciting watching them dancing in that strange way. Then she explained me that it was not exactly a kind of dance but rather a kind of fight put forward by the original authors of that sport.Do you agree with this statement? I'll search for more information about it so we can discover how everything started and which was the principal purpose..
bye bye

elisac said...

Hi Elena!We really enjoyed reading your post, capoeira seems to be an interisting sport. The teacher asked us to correct your work, so below you can find a list of suggestions to improve your work:

• Spelling: we found only one spelling mistake at the beginning of your text, that is “hallo” instead of “hello”.

• Vocabulary: perhaps “many years ago” is better than “ages ago” and “during my experience as Erasmus student” sounds better than “when I was doing Erasmus”. We would substitute “by a particular instrument” with “by a typical instrument” just to avoid repetitions.

• Punctuation: perhaps it would be better to put a full stop after “Africa” because then you don’t talk about the origin of the instrument but about your experience. Then we would link together the following two sentences “I practiced this sport...and I liked it very much because it was funny.” and then put a full stop. Maybe these changes are clearer within the text (see the text below).

• Grammar: we found only two grammar mistakes “my e-mails” and “that I visit the most”.

• Format: perhaps you should leave a gap between paragraphs in order to make the text easier to read.

Text with corrections

Hello everyone!!I'm Elena and I chose this photo which represents capoeira. Capoeira is a sport which was invented ages ago/many years ago by slaves in Africa. I practiced this sport in Spain when I was doing Erasmus/during my experience as Erasmus student and I liked it very much because it was funny. We did it listening to a very particular kind of music which was produced by a particular/typical instrument called "birimbao".

The two websites that I visit the most are:

www.libero.it

when I have to check my e-mails.

and www.trenitalia.it
when I want to check the train timetable.

Bye!!

See you in the near future,
Elisa Caramori
Silvia Nicolini

elenacarlet said...

Hi girls!!
thank you very much for your correction!!I'm sure it will be useful for my English!!
bye!

Elena